Tuesday, January 26, 2010

~Music~


You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars~ Leah Renaud.


It’s true though. Music completes us. As humans music is what saves us. We listen to it when we are happy, so happy it’s Friday and just want to dance. When we are sad sometimes the best thing to do is blast a loud obnoxious song with tons of cursing in it. I think a few select girls out there reading this know which song I am specifically talking about. Music conveys our emotions. Especially the strong ones. Why do you think there are so many freaking songs about love and heartache? Because love or maybe what we think is love, or crushes, and rejection those feelings can be the strongest type. And we cannot control them (boy trust me I have tried)

When we find that one song that says it all, we play it over and over and over and over again. When words fail music speaks. Everyone loves music, because it makes sense of things that are insensible.
You know there is something I just realized. It’s sort of ironic. God also make sense in the insensible. We pray to him and even if we do not get clean cut answers, or at least for me, I am always comforted, knowing that God knows what he is doing. I never feel so alone, not when I’m praying. But the ironic part of the whole thing is that we use music to also praise God. Because we know that sometimes God is a little bit insensible, at least in our human minds. It is like one big undeniable circle.

Sometimes I listen to my iPod in study hall or a class that has a work day and when its time to move to the next class I keep my little ear buds in listening to my song still, and I think to myself “Lives should a soundtrack. We should always hear music which reflects the mood of our little movie in the background of our lives. Or maybe it would be cheesy but maybe instead of background music we should make our lives a musical.” When you get a bad grade on your test just start singing about how hard you did or did not study and how unfair it really is. Music defines us. And as we change, so do our musical tastes. When I was in grade school I listened to country non-stop. Freshman year I loved Christian rock (which I still do love but not as much as others). Now, I listen to Y98; I like Ingrid Michaelson, Owl City, Rob Thomas, and the Gabe Dixon Band.

In a book by Sarah Dessen, called Just Listen, there is a character called Owen, who is freaking obsessed with music, particularly undiscovered stuff in the techno range, and chants. He says to the main character Annabel that the thing most amazing thing about music is that it is constant. Songs will never change. Once it is recorded it is, people can redo them but the original is still there. Songs take you back to places. Any one song might make you think of a certain person, or a special year. Or maybe the songs will take you back somewhere not so happy. People change. We have to move on from the best and worst times. You most likely will not have the same best friend your whole life, and if you do they will not be exactly the same person they were when you met them on the preschool playground as when you graduate high school. I heard once that the only constant thing is change, but I don’t completely by it. I wear the same ring on my finger everyday. God will always love me no matter if I love him back or not (which I hope will always be constant too!) and the final constant in my life will be music. Born to fly will always make me think of Laura, Never Alone will make me think of grade school. Awaken will make me think of freshman year. True colors will make me think of Mary Clare. These things are constant. I may move on from things, and people (not these people yet though!!!) but the songs, the music will remain.
In an instant I can remove myself from something awful and place myself in a better time.

Music is constant, and it makes perfect sense even when the lyrics are complete nonsense (see any owl city song for a reference.) THAT is why we love music.

“I miss Mayberry, sittin’ on the porch drinking ice cold cherry, coke! Nana nana nananana” –Rascal Flatts.

Y

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Kinda depressing i know (sorry)

She kind of wants to scream.
Guys, (if any males actually read this i'm sorry), but seriously what is your problem?
If a girl likes you and you like her back why would you not want to be with her
please quit saying that friendship is easier thing,
cause not after you have kissed her is it easier.
Please don't stop talking to her. don't say your phone is not working.
Learn this. girls are fragile. Our hearts are like glass
they continually break, and we just glue em back together.
eventually the glue with fade and the heart mends
but then its dropped again and the cycle repeats
why is it so complicated.

the heart seems to fall in slow motion sometimes
the fall takes weeks and weeks to hit the ground
and the brain prays and hopes that somebody
or a CERTAIN someone,
will catch it.
all the while knowing that it's a fat chance.

and then other times the heart drops in an instant
shatters in a million pieces with little chance to be caught
and either way
girls just pick them up
and glue them back together.
for different girls it takes different amounts of time for the glue to fade away.

and during that whole time
it hurts
shooting pain through her entire being
she cant help it
she tries to hide it.
sometimes shes successful, but othertimes she is not

she is scared.
Teriffied actually
scared that she will be disregarded again
thrown to the side
not cared about.

Love is a stong word
and maybe she never actually loved you
not in the sense that love is
but she definetly liked you
more than a friend
all along
even when she tried to be your friend
and you led her on
you held her hand and cuddled with her
you kissed her
and NOW you want to go back to being friends
just because you do not like what people expect
it does not matter what they expect

do what you want.



but please

please don't hurt her anymore



please.



don't hurt me anymore.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Karios and other randoms

Okay soo i went on Kairos and it was amazingggggggg!!!!!
I had sooooooo much fun and i met a lot of new girls.
My small group was sooo sweet
Group 10, PALM IT BOP IT!
WE WE WE WE WE WE WE WEWWEWEWEWEWEW
:D
umm Daves good i thinks
im almost even sick of break, and ready for schooll....
almost...
haha
but today is saturday and i start
Monday
by then i wont be ready to go back
haha
okay the end thats all folks
talk to ya later alligater
Colleen

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year

Goodbye 2009
Hello 2010.