Last Post

Here it is.
My Last official Post

Finished Junior project yesterday.
Completed that retreat thing today
but i was a senior last night according to the seniors who decorated my car.

And to think i almost didnt go to xlt :)

This year was hard. and I think it will follow me for awhile...

thats all i've got sorry

Birthday, Exams, Summer Job, and Junior Service

So Monday was my Birthday, I've forgotten how much i love birthdays!
Everyone treats ya like your really special or somethin. It's kinda nice :)
But it wasn't all great, this week is exam week.
Bleck, soo i took history on my birthday, and then i came home and had to study for chemistry, and english.
Thank goodness all of that is done and over with.
Now all that's left is Algebra and Spanish. and those shouldn't be too hard.
Today I had a day off from exams since my Health and Modern Prophets exams are both turned in.
So I went job searching this morning.
I applied at Catholic Supply, and I'm thinking it's a possibilty to get this job.
yay... >.<
i just hope it is not as stressful as pizza street was.
and the final item on the agenda is Junior Service project.
I start it next week :)
thats quite exciting.
me and Leah Beah are goin to Our Lady's Inn and it should be tons-o-fun.
wells i gotta goo i Have to get my room cleaned and everything organized and study cause tonight im goin to South Side Youth Ministry to hear my lil sister's talk. Shes soo excited it's really cute ;)
All right byees yalL!
Colleen

YOu know whats insAne???

The fact that this blog was created to help me get through Junior year
the year i thought was going to be the
longest
hardest
year

well it prolly was the hardest, and possibly the longest...
but i feels like just yesterday that i started this blog
and you know what???
tomorrow is the last day of school
yeah
the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!
insane right


i am really really glad for it to be over...


but at the same time sorta scared to move forward in life.

and then im not actually free tomorrow
still got exams
and junior service
but they realize that our brains are completely fried by now
due to the stress of this year
soo they give us two weeks of non brain work after exams
which is nice of them

i guess ill end this blog once i'm done with those two weeks...

soo yeah hope youve enjoyed this
i guess that i have

but im glad its almost done

im done ranting :)

Soo i know i dont really blog as much as i used too...
and i think that that is mostly because even though very few people read this anyway
i still cannot be 100% honest about my life and what i am going through
please know if you read this and wonder what the heck im talking about
im okay, and im going to be okay.
if i havnt told you it is not because i do not trust you
its a pride thing and a i need to keep this on the DL with as few people knowing as possible
so i apologize for vagueness
and i apologize for not telling you
and i also apologize for not really blogging
and yeah
the end :)

sick sick sick

I dont lke being sick
:)
but i like missing school
untill i have to make up the work
that sucks
the end

Boys = Stupid

Im sorry any potential males that read this but seriously

your stupid

I've barely even gotten over the last boy i had and know i very well may possibly have two new boys chasing me down

now if I liked either of them this wouldnt be a problem

but both are kinda sketch

not sketch in the way that they're in jail all the time

sketch in the way that i dont know if i can trust em

i've heard stories about one
and my friend doesnt like him at all
and the other was a jerk at first
plus my other friend doesnt like him

just in general
boys
you are stupid

why cant i have a NORMAL guy ask me out?
Chase me down?
why can't a normal guy go out with me and be there when im pissed?
be there when i'm sad?

blah

let more drama in my life occur
drive me crazy
this is just what i need

the end.
love Colleennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Easter

Merry Happy Easter Loves!
Yay for a fresh redo of life. No more job.
hehe i dont think i even had it for the enitiirty of lent but its gone now
Yay for happiness
nothing can get in my way any more.
the end

Oh yeah one thing I did not mention..

Im giving up the internet for lent again this year.
Sooo yeah
if you get confused at my lack of writing (if anyone actually reads this anyway)
Its heyyy im not getting on it at all over lent
Have a great 40 days
Byee!!

Valentine's Day

Happy Singles Awareness Day!!!!!!!

So im not really sure what i have to say but its been a week since my last post and i figured i have better put something soo i guess ill talk about the day's celebrations.

I woke up this morning to my family who seem to have no regard for personal space of sleeping teenage girls. GETT UP COLLEEN ITS TIME FOR BREAKFAST
blahh i had ten more minutes till my alarm would go off anyway couldnt they have waited???

then i went to mass gotta say i love our preists
FR. Don: Oh yeah thats why everyones wearing red its valentines day?? i wouldnt have remembered cause SOME ONE didnt get me any chocolate... (looks at brother Joel)
Bro Joel: Actually its singles awareness day not valentine's day
Fr. Don: Oh andremember everyone dont eat meat on wedneseday for ash wednesday
of you call me up and say fr. don oh no i ate chicken/ turkey/ beef im gunna tell you that you're going to hell.

went to get doughnuts with some youth groupies in the parish hall
met shelbs boyfriend from chicago
and came home and saidill do my homework AFTER i check my facebook...
one hour later im writing thisblog nbd

Oh and i forgot to mention that one friend asked me if i was alright today with the whole concept of the day
and jjust soo everyone knows i am alright
dont worry about me cause imma be alright

and then after i dooo homework and clean all afternoon
ill make pasta con broccolli and at 6 me and katie meghan laura and fara are havin a singles awareness party movie night
were gunna dress up eat a nice dinner together and watch chick flicks and eat chocolate
yum yum yum :D

soo yeah thats my romantic valentines day woooooooo
and tomorrow though i have the day off i get to spend it off visiting a college
yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy
>.<

blahh
Colleen

nother post

Hmm i suposse it may have been a while since i last posted anything, sooo
hello how are you?
im good i guess
broke up with dave
as my mom said this evening:
"the training was going really slowly and it was not taking very well"
soo yeah that is whats been going on in my life
LUKE 18 started
greatest theme ever!!!
Here comes the sun AKA Beatles
ooooohhh yeahh!!!!
pretty awesome if you ask me
hmm class registration for next year is going on
ill be taking about 4 legit classes
english
spanish IV
Pre-calc
and Government/AP theology
then my one.five stupid classes but is required
Adavnced PE/ personal finance
faith and media/ prayer pathways
Then my FUN classes
THEATER
Fiberarts/ photography
Oh and of course Broadcast and Study Hall
WOOO
next year should be fun!
and umm yeah thats about it with my life
ttyl!!
Collleennn

~Music~

You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars~ Leah Renaud.

It’s true though. Music completes us. As humans music is what saves us. We listen to it when we are happy, so happy it’s Friday and just want to dance. When we are sad sometimes the best thing to do is blast a loud obnoxious song with tons of cursing in it. I think a few select girls out there reading this know which song I am specifically talking about. Music conveys our emotions. Especially the strong ones. Why do you think there are so many freaking songs about love and heartache? Because love or maybe what we think is love, or crushes, and rejection those feelings can be the strongest type. And we cannot control them (boy trust me I have tried)

When we find that one song that says it all, we play it over and over and over and over again. When words fail music speaks. Everyone loves music, because it makes sense of things that are insensible.
You know there is something I just realized. It’s sort of ironic. God also make sense in the insensible. We pray to him and even if we do not get clean cut answers, or at least for me, I am always comforted, knowing that God knows what he is doing. I never feel so alone, not when I’m praying. But the ironic part of the whole thing is that we use music to also praise God. Because we know that sometimes God is a little bit insensible, at least in our human minds. It is like one big undeniable circle.

Sometimes I listen to my iPod in study hall or a class that has a work day and when its time to move to the next class I keep my little ear buds in listening to my song still, and I think to myself “Lives should a soundtrack. We should always hear music which reflects the mood of our little movie in the background of our lives. Or maybe it would be cheesy but maybe instead of background music we should make our lives a musical.” When you get a bad grade on your test just start singing about how hard you did or did not study and how unfair it really is. Music defines us. And as we change, so do our musical tastes. When I was in grade school I listened to country non-stop. Freshman year I loved Christian rock (which I still do love but not as much as others). Now, I listen to Y98; I like Ingrid Michaelson, Owl City, Rob Thomas, and the Gabe Dixon Band.

In a book by Sarah Dessen, called Just Listen, there is a character called Owen, who is freaking obsessed with music, particularly undiscovered stuff in the techno range, and chants. He says to the main character Annabel that the thing most amazing thing about music is that it is constant. Songs will never change. Once it is recorded it is, people can redo them but the original is still there. Songs take you back to places. Any one song might make you think of a certain person, or a special year. Or maybe the songs will take you back somewhere not so happy. People change. We have to move on from the best and worst times. You most likely will not have the same best friend your whole life, and if you do they will not be exactly the same person they were when you met them on the preschool playground as when you graduate high school. I heard once that the only constant thing is change, but I don’t completely by it. I wear the same ring on my finger everyday. God will always love me no matter if I love him back or not (which I hope will always be constant too!) and the final constant in my life will be music. Born to fly will always make me think of Laura, Never Alone will make me think of grade school. Awaken will make me think of freshman year. True colors will make me think of Mary Clare. These things are constant. I may move on from things, and people (not these people yet though!!!) but the songs, the music will remain.
In an instant I can remove myself from something awful and place myself in a better time.

Music is constant, and it makes perfect sense even when the lyrics are complete nonsense (see any owl city song for a reference.) THAT is why we love music.

“I miss Mayberry, sittin’ on the porch drinking ice cold cherry, coke! Nana nana nananana” –Rascal Flatts.

Y

Kinda depressing i know (sorry)

She kind of wants to scream.
Guys, (if any males actually read this i'm sorry), but seriously what is your problem?
If a girl likes you and you like her back why would you not want to be with her
please quit saying that friendship is easier thing,
cause not after you have kissed her is it easier.
Please don't stop talking to her. don't say your phone is not working.
Learn this. girls are fragile. Our hearts are like glass
they continually break, and we just glue em back together.
eventually the glue with fade and the heart mends
but then its dropped again and the cycle repeats
why is it so complicated.

the heart seems to fall in slow motion sometimes
the fall takes weeks and weeks to hit the ground
and the brain prays and hopes that somebody
or a CERTAIN someone,
will catch it.
all the while knowing that it's a fat chance.

and then other times the heart drops in an instant
shatters in a million pieces with little chance to be caught
and either way
girls just pick them up
and glue them back together.
for different girls it takes different amounts of time for the glue to fade away.

and during that whole time
it hurts
shooting pain through her entire being
she cant help it
she tries to hide it.
sometimes shes successful, but othertimes she is not

she is scared.
Teriffied actually
scared that she will be disregarded again
thrown to the side
not cared about.

Love is a stong word
and maybe she never actually loved you
not in the sense that love is
but she definetly liked you
more than a friend
all along
even when she tried to be your friend
and you led her on
you held her hand and cuddled with her
you kissed her
and NOW you want to go back to being friends
just because you do not like what people expect
it does not matter what they expect

do what you want.



but please

please don't hurt her anymore



please.



don't hurt me anymore.

Karios and other randoms

Okay soo i went on Kairos and it was amazingggggggg!!!!!

I had sooooooo much fun and i met a lot of new girls.

My small group was sooo sweet

Group 10, PALM IT BOP IT!

WE WE WE WE WE WE WE WEWWEWEWEWEWEW

:D

umm Daves good i thinks

im almost even sick of break, and ready for schooll....

almost...

haha

but today is saturday and i start

Monday

by then i wont be ready to go back

haha

okay the end thats all folks

talk to ya later alligater

Colleen

Happy New Year

Goodbye 2009
Hello 2010.